erica’s abdominoplasty blog

Check out Suzy’s Blog (link also at right.):

http://suzysabdominoplasty.blogspot.com/

Surgery Countdown: Two weeks from today!

Well, lately I’ve been thinking more and more about recovery. I’m not so afraid of the surgery, or the pain in fact. The thing I’m most worried about is that “bounce back” factor. I know I have youth and health on my side and that I’m not having muscle work done. I hope that’s enough to aide a speedy recovery. Since I’m only taking a week of work, I’m hoping by the time I return I’ll be pretty much back to my old self. Meaning walking, sitting, existing without too much strain or pain. The second weekend after my surgery I have a graduation, a wedding, and a couple dinners to attend. By that time I’ll be 12 days post op. I probably won’t be dancing on the tables, but I think I will still be able to have a good time — with my new, flatter tummy even! I’m still planning for the 4-6 week activity moratorium. Which really bums me out because I’ll be missing almost half the season of ultimate frisbee. I don’t want to be a burden on the team, but yelling from the sidelines is about all I think I can do for a while. Another concern is the laying in bed and being immobile. I don’t want my recovery time to cause me to gain any weight, and since I won’t be moving around much I could see that happening. So proactively, I’m going to prepare and freeze a bunch of easy meal packets that I can pop right in the oven. Someone at my WW meeting today suggested sticking to veggies and protein. She says carbs made her bloat after surgery and that’s something I want to avoid for sure! So this weekend I’m stocking up on things I think I’ll need. As far as boredom, that’s not too much of a worry… I have a bunch of books to be read, movies to watch and sock yarn ready to be knit when I’m not sleeping. I’m actually looking forward to that part! Of course my concerns aren’t enough to stop me from doing what I need to do. And, again, it’s silly to worry. What will be, will be. But I just want to be prepared!

Ok. So here’s my rant about insurance.

Three years ago I weighed over 250 pounds. For my sex and height, that put my squarely in the Obese category. I was fat, unhappy, and unhealthy. But at that point I had not experienced any medical problems resulting directly from my weight. In general I would have said I was in good shape, not that round is exactly an optimal shape. I was resigned to the fact that I was just heavy thanks to genetics and other factors that I could not control. But in actuality I simply wasn’t eating right or being active. If I had continued down that path, I have no doubt in my mind that my health would have gotten worse and worse with every year that passed. Obesity is the number one growing problem in America. According to the JAMA (Flegal KM, Carroll MD, Ogden CL, Johnson CL. Prevalence and trends in obesity among US adults, 1999-2000. Journal of the American Medical Association. 2002;288:1723-1727.) “Nearly one-third of U.S. adults are obese (BMI > 30).” And another third are overweight. So that means, for all you math majors, only one third of the American population is at their ideal body weight.

I don’t think I need to list all the diseases associated with obesity, but diabetes, heart disease, stroke, hypertension, gallbladder disease, osteoarthritis (degeneration of cartilage and bone of joints), sleep apnea and other breathing problems, and cancer (uterine, breast, colorectal, kidney, and gallbladder) immediately come to mind. All these obese people come with a price. “A recent study estimated annual medical spending due to overweight and obesity (BMI > 25) to be as much as $92.6 billion in 2002 dollars (9.1 percent of U.S. health expenditures). http://content.healthaffairs.org/cgi/content/full/hlthaff.w3.219v1/DC1. ”

If I had continued on the path I was on, I would have been a financial burden to myself, my insurance company and my country. They would have to had treated me for any number of costly conditions. But instead, on my own, I decided to lose weight. And again, that expense was out of pocket. Supposedly you can now write off any Doctor recommended weight loss attempts on your taxes, but I missed that boat. If you figure I spent $10 a week at weight watchers, for 2 and a half years until I hit goal, you arrive at $1300. Now add to that all the weight loss accessories like clothes, cookbooks, gym memberships, bikes, sports teams fees, health food, and various other thing, that number could easily double or triple. The result was that I lost over 100 pounds, and I gladly would pay that money all over again for the results I achieved.

But I was left with, what I feel, is a medical condition of lose and hanging skin. So now I embark on a $5000 surgery. Elective surgery they say. For insurance to cover the procedure, I would need to have a long and documented history of severe rashes, back problems from the hanging skin, or some other serious medical condition. Nevermind that I’ve saved them thousands and thousands of dollars for my future treatments by losing my weight. Insurance is such a scam. I remember reading about one insurance company that covered the prescription Viagra for men, but would not cover one woman’s birth control pill. How messed up is that?

My point is that I feel in America we often wait until the last minute to solve our problems. We ignore the old adage of “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” It’s too easy to wait until someone has a problem to solve it, instead of preventing it all together. We end up rewarding the people who don’t take care of themselves and punishing those who do. Insurance reform is long due in this country, and there are plenty of cases that are far, far worse than my minor gripe. I just hope in the future the power will shift from the big business of health care and prescription drugs and move back into the hands of the people.

Today I’m inspired by other people’s stories. I’ve recently found the Tummy Tuck and Abdominoplasty forum on MakeMeHeal.com. It’s an online message board that provides support for patients of plastic surgery.

Some of the posts on the site made me nervous at first. Namely posts regarding complications and some not-so-happy results. Actually, nervous is an understatement — petrified is more like it. But after I calmed myself down, I found so many helpful and inspiring people and stories. It’s so good to hear from and talk to real people sharing their own experiences. It gives me great hope and a sense of security. I’m chosing to only focus on the positive posts, and am dedicated to keeping my hopes high. Some of the members have said very moving and inspirational things really impact me. Those are the things I will keep and internalize. In addition, they ofter practical advice for recovery. Real women, real surgery, real advice, real inspiration.

For example, check out some of the contributer’s sites:

Cocoa’s photos — We seem to have similar shapes and I really like the results that she has achieved! Email her at babyjane1986@yahoo.com

Summer’s photos — I love how she’s so open and honest with her photos!

Last night for the first time the reality of the surgery hit me. I was laying on the couch and I was thinking about my tummy and how it was flopping over. I thought “well it won’t do that for much longer!” I got really excited thinking about it, but as quickly as that feeling came, so did some new feelings regarding reality of the surgery.

I really will be cut with a scalpel.
I really will be laid up for a while in bed.
I really will be in a lot of pain.
I really will need several months to fully recover.
I really will have a large scar.
I really will be spending a lot of money.

My stomach dropped instantly and I was immediately nervous.

For the past couple weeks I’ve talked about this surgery till I’m blue in the face. I’ve been able to talk openly and say the words, but I wasn’t exactly connecting them with something that is really going to happen. As a concept, it feels like it is still “out there.” It’s kinda like waiting for Christmas, when it feels like it will never get here. Most of the time I get wrapped up in the idea of how it will look after the fact and I forget the hard work it will take to get there. I think this is a normal reaction. I’m keeping positive and not letting myself worry.

Today the reality is that it’s 22 days away. The honeymoon phase is coming to and end, and I have to seriously come to terms with what is really going to happen. I know I’m prepared. I’m ready for a change, it’s been a long time coming.

Oh, and a car update? $1700. Yes. Really. That takes a large chunk out of what I had saved up for the surgery and means I’ll have to borrow more from my parents. I know they’re happy to help, but it’s a big blow to my ego in addition to my pocket book.

So today I’m thinking a lot about money. My car is having some issues and my funds are particularly low. Not to mention all the day-to-day bills I have to take care of this month. But I’m waiting on a tax return and an extra paycheck this month, so there is a silver lining. All that being said, I’m thinking about paying five grand, out of pocket, for an elective surgery. I feel insane. But then I remember I’m a very financially responsible person. I’ve planned for this, I have some money saved, I’m getting some of the money loaned to me, and eventually I should be okay. Of course, money will be tight for a while.

In addition, I feel guilty about spending THAT much money on myself. Like I once told Tj, “Five thousand dollars is a garage! Or at least the start of one.” And his response? “Yeah, but you don’t live every day in your garage.” My boyfriend is pretty smart sometimes. So I try to remember that when I get those twinges of guilt.

On top of the money for the surgery, I imagine there’s going to be a lot of incidentals. Gauze, tape, medicine, and every other thing they make you buy for the recovery process. I’m sure I’ll have to buy that restrictive garment thing I have to wear for three weeks. I bet that’s not cheap. And then there’s the added cost of clothing. What if I drop a pants size? Can I afford new pants? Should I get some of my nice ones altered? I won’t know that for sure until after the surgery, so really there’s no point in worrying about it now. But my thoughts just spiral and I almost throw myself in a state of panic.

Oh the stress of being a type-a worry wart! I know things will be fine. I know I’m still doing the right thing. I have to keep telling myself that. But between now and surgery, it is so hard to turn off my brain.

Well the blog is getting some hits, mostly because I’ve basically come out to friends and family. I’m not sure why I feel so secretive about this whole thing. I can’t say it’s an issue of privacy, I’m not one to hoard information about myself. I’m horrible at keeping secrets, so I’m not surprised that I’ve blurted it out to everyone. Top that with my complete lack of patience, and it was most likely inevitable. I hate when something seems so taboo, that just makes me want to talk about it more! So I rather get all that out in the open than keep it inside.

Maybe it’s just that I’m really excited and I want my friends and family to celebrate with me!

T-minus 33 days and counting.

Part of me is resisting this surgery for fear of people thinking it’s an issue of vanity. Before all of this, I would have told you that people who get plastic surgery (especially botox, breast implants, face lifts and such) were vain. I think it’s a fact of life that things will sag and get wrinkly as you get older. There’s a lot to be said for growing old with grace. Look at my Nonna, she was beautiful and soft and wrinkly up until the day she died. People in Hollywood like Joan Rivers piss me off — I mean, come on, she looks like a cat! So all that being said, I kinda felt like a traitor thinking about getting plastic surgery. I told myself I should just live with the hanging skin, and that it was part of the process I went through — a “war-wound.” But no matter how much I told myself that, I still didn’t like it. I didn’t like how it got in the way when I was buying clothes, I didn’t like the way it bulged in weird areas, I didn’t like the way it looked icky in sexy underwear, and I didn’t like how when I laid down, it laid down next to me. The more I thought about it, the more surgery didn’t seem so out of line. Getting older is natural, hanging skin from losing 100 pounds is not. It’s not something I should have to deal with after working so hard to get where I am. At this point, I feel like I’m rectifying a medical condition, and I feel justified in doing something for myself.

So today I woke up with a rash in my belly button. I guess I didn’t dry it off well enough last time I showered, and it’s red and itchy. This is just another thing that I look forward to not having to deal with again after the surgery. New flat belly button means no more rashes! Speaking of belly buttons that brings to mind one of the risks of the abdominoplasty. I could, in fact, lose my belly button. Part of the process includes cutting out my current belly button opening and making a new one. So it is possible that my belly button could die and turn black. Dr. Foley said this has never happened in his 26 years of practice, but it was something I needed to be aware of. What did my supportive, loving, wonderful best friend and boyfriend say about this?

Des: “Well, I think you can eat by yourself now, so that’s no big deal.”
Tj: “You think belly buttons are so great, until you have to clean lint out of them all the time.”

Sheish. So much for support systems.

So in an effort to be 100% honest with myself and others in this process, I’ve posted some pictures in my gallery as “”before”" examples. You can see them by clicking on the Gallery link on the right side of this page. They are less than flattering, and kind of make me cringe. But I want this experience to be open, honest and (most of all) informative to anyone in a similar situation. I wish there had been something like this out there for me to read when I was researching my options. In these pics I’m at goal, about 155 pounds. My frame is much smaller than the skin that hangs off of it. So be kind, and try not to judge.